#92

Does anyone else get the feeling that John just walks around saying "Ugh! Disgusting!"? This really isn't that annoying. It's kind of cute. John is like an unhappy cheese troll.

#91

Oh gee, what a surprise. David is naked and everyone is drooling. I'm tempted to post the exact same update and see what my friends would say. Would they like it? Would I get a wowza? It'd be interesting to see. But it's just not worth it -- posting a status update like that is crowning yourself D-bag of the year and I don't want to enter that competition. David would so win. (Note that Chris and Stewart are most likely gay.)

#90

Robyn: what the hell? I have so many issues with you. Pimpass paradiseee? No one knows what that means. And no one cares to know. I hope to God this was caused by drunkenness, otherwise all signs point to lame-ass-ness.

And of course you spell your name with a "y".

#89

Ok. Before I say anything about this tragedy in a vest, let it be known that I feel sorry for the little guy*. We've all been through shitty break-ups. Difference is, we don't parade our emo-pain-mania all over the intra-web.

I can't even take how annoying this guy is. First of all, "..." does not equal a dramatic pause. Secondly, you want someone to take your heart "far away so that [you] can't feel it anymore"? Over it. And finally, just to reiterate his subtle point, he notes that "this seriously hurts...can't eat..."

Go grab a tube of cookie dough and stay under the covers for a few days (and off of facebook) so that we all don't have to share in your mind-numbing and annoying pain.

*I also admit that I had to remove all the comments because this post would have been 17 pages long, but trust me, the comments were just as lame as the status'.

#88

I'm finding it really hard to feel bad for Scott. Below are my reasons why.

a) 23 rocks. It's only a boring age because you're boring.
b) No one cares about your debt. Everyone has debt.
c) Quit trying to make everyone feel bad for you on your birthday. Isn't it bad enough we have to pretend to care about you long enough to write "hope your birthday is a great one, scott" on your wall?

Btw no one tried to call you.

#87

Can we wait at least, like, 5 minutes before dancing on Michael Jackson's grave? Jaimie and Stefani seem to have crowned themselves intellectually and morally superior to the rest of the world just because they remember that MJ wasn't perfect (and somehow steer the conversation to white supremacy?) I'm not going to start lauding MJ right now, but he did more than "put out a few pop songs and might have molested children."

Also, I hate to get all preachy, but let him who is without sin cast the first stone. When I die, is Jaimie going to show up at the funeral and say, "I don't really care. She had a really bitchy blog"?

Death is pretty heavy. Maybe we should leave it out of our status updates. What do y'all think?

#86

Nothing makes me happier than a good old fashioned annoying status call out. Here we have Chelsea flaunting a relaxing day by the pool in the company of some girlfriends. Meanwhile, Megan is not pleased*.

Sassy and/or rude comments almost make annoying status' worthwhile. Send in facebook call outs like this to yourstatusisannoying@gmail.com and make my day.

*Note the lack of punctuation, contraction, and capitalization for added fervor.