#177

So over it.

I was at an event last night during the MTV Video Music Awards, and when I got out everyone was in a tizzy over the Kanye fiasco. Some people were wondering how the singer could have acted out like that. Others wondered what Beyonce thought of the ordeal. I was mostly wondering why the fuck anyone cares about what the hell Kanye West does on an MTV awards show.

This status and its TEN comments of glory were so excruciatingly painful, I spared you the details. Just believe me, they were more annoying than I care to share.

#176

You party animal, you! I didn't think it got much crazier than sitting in a room getting heckled by someone who gets paid to heckle people. And running into street musicians? How do you manage to do it all? But then you mention breaking Mta rules (and regulations.) Life. On. The. Wild. Side.

What were you doing, exactly? Not paying your fee? Destroying, soiling or tampering with property of the Authority? Obstructing the flow of traffic? Failing to relinquish a seat on a conveyance which has been designated as "Wheelchair Priority Seating"? Dumping garbage? Urinating? Occupying more than one seat?

Because those are the MTA Rules and Regulations. I looked them up. And breaking them sounds... not fun at all.

#175

Apparently Michael isn't the only one who finds out that his mom hates him via facebook...

Coty, maybe its because you look like a porn star in your picture. Moms don't want to see that. Just a thought.

#174

Our submitter A says, "I thought the best part of this was not only the uselessness of the post but the fact that 3 other people responded positively to this nonsense; rather than being annoyed by it. Do you think one can actually become immune to annoying statuses if you spend enough time on FB?"

A has a point, and I actually started to get worried. What is all this shit doing for my mental health? Am I going to lose my mind? Sara and her ridiculous, rhythmic chanting does not suppress the insanity. And then when Christopher, Duane, Robert and Peter seem to be supporting this nonsense, I really start feeling like I'm in the Twilight Zone. Why does this all remind me of the Milgram Experiment?

(Thanks, A!)

#173

Scott apparently has to make up for the fact that hes sitting in his room and breaking his diet by chowing down on some baked goods by using hardcore butch phrases like "pounding the shit out of them." Sorry Scott, just because you swore doesn't mean you're not a giant cookie-eating girl.

And Michael, I'm not convinced about your claims of "no homo." Put a shirt on, both of you.

#172

With the eighth anniversary of the tragic events of September 11th coming up this Friday, what better way to celebrate than with a facebook status about hijacked planes. Good one, Kate.

And Katrina, I think you need a tutorial on the "like" feature.

#171

You know what should go through your head when you almost get into a car accident doing something stupid? "Wow, that was a close one, I have to be more careful." I have had close calls too, but I always get down on my knees and thank God for saving my ass. Since when did drunk driving and texting while driving become cool? God doesn't have time to be saving everyones' stupid asses all over the place.

Most of the time when I see an annoying status I think, "she's not a bad person, she's just fallen victim to the ridiculousness of Facebook status updates." But I think this person is a bad person. A bad person with a pink slushy and a new Gucci purse.

(Thanks for the submission, R!)